bits July 31, 2009
Posted by preetischronicle in Little V, life's like that, random thoughts.1 comment so far
Little V took 2 little steps yesterday! This is @ 13.5 months. He’s also effortlessly cruising with his hold on walker (its not the sit down walker), maneuvering it quite well and even using just one hand to move it along. So the baby is almost walking. Sometimes, I sit back and wonder which was the best phase of my baby and every month seems to be really the best one!
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I had some very tough days lately with Little V’s day care arrangement getting upset, the old couple became grandparents and left to be with their daughter in the UK. However, I have learned that every problem actually has an opportunity somewhere. We saw some day care facilities and nothing really pleased us. What could match up to the lovely home Little V was going to. I was lucky to be allowed to work early morning hours and I work from 7am to 3pm and Little V’s dad work until late evenings. This has worked out really well between us. Both of us are getting to spend a lot of time with Little V. Infact he has atleast one of us for most part of the day. I take him out everyday on his bicycle and he’s made several friends around our block. The only downside of this is the impact this has on my sleep. I have been sleeping very little. Since Little V and his dad dont need to wake up early, the house goes very late to sleep and I am the one who wakes up early and then has the entire day lined up either at home or office. I finish my housework when little V takes his afternoon nap, and in a way get to spend more time as a couple too! In my earlier set up I would spend all my available time with Little V and do my housework when his dad would be back.
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Little V is speaking many words now and even attempted speaking calculator calling it ‘cal..tor’. If I sing rhymes, he imitates the sound and the tune if he can’t say the words. And he’s developed a fancy for cars, and loves to point out to every single car on the road and say ‘cah’. He can identify cars in cartoons, books, movies, any tv show with ease. He also loves pointing out to buses on the road and speaks up ‘bah’ on seeing one. Truck is not all too familiar with him though he’s quick to say ‘guck’ when he sees one. ‘Bah’ is being used for bus, balloons, blocks, baarish, ball and its now upto us to point out the right one when he says ‘bah’!
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August is a month of many birthdays. We’ve been invited to several kiddie birthday parties and I am all too excited to take my baby at each one of them since he enjoys birthdays now. Looks like the festive season will be here very soon. Yeah! life will be busy and thats how we like it! 
madre June 22, 2009
Posted by preetischronicle in life's like that, this is me.5 comments
The most complex relationship for me has been that of a Mother. For me that name feels like a big, gaping hole in my heart. Sometimes I can see that hole and it appears like an endless abyss, dark and unknown. Like the black hole in the galaxy, no matter how much I force myself to see it, it just gets more and more infinite. Sometimes in my sleep I can see that hole and that part of me aches badly now. I had my mom for the nine months she kept me and for the day I was born. I was brought up by my family very lovingly. I never really missed or craved for my mother until, well almost until I got married. When I missed her, it would be the same as someone who didn’t have a brother or sister would miss having one. I never cried for her. I do not know how this came about, but my family never talked about her. We never had any of her pictures hung around the house. I do not know my parents anniversary till date and I didn’t know how she looked almost until I was 16 or something. I heard many stories about the kind of child I was, I could dress up on my own for school and just wait for someone to button up my shirt and tie my laces. How no one ever bothered to see if my homework was done, since I always on top of it. How I could cook a decent meal while I was just about 12 years old. Basically just how good I was . And I have fond memories of my childhood. I have memories of lots of uninterrupted play, of my birthday celebrations, of being loved, pampered, going for holidays, meeting cousins, like just any other child. A normal childhood. I never remember my family pity me or say to me or to anyone – oh poor child! She doesn’t have a mother. Or hear them say, she missed this and she isn’t this since she never had her mum. I often had my mum’s cousins tell me, how I looked like her and how I had her taste in music and hair like her. And I also heard from others how my father refused several second marriage proposals because he thought he couldn’t trust anyone to bring me up. I never felt that someone was missing from my family or there was something I missed in my relationship with them. I do not know whether it was a good thing they did when they never talked about her. When I was small I think it worked, at that time it was good, since it never made me miss her. But now I feel, had they brought up the topic and made me realize what I was missing, I would have been less sensitive to such talk. Now when I miss her, I cry endlessly, as if I just lost her yesterday!
I do not have a mother. I never had one. This is a fact of my life. And it has never come to haunt me as much as it does now. Does it make me over sensitive? I do not know. Does it make me unaware of a mother’s feelings? I do not know. I have known aunts and my friend’s mothers, my sister is a mother too. My thinking is different since thoughts like ‘what would my mom have done in this situation’ do not cross my mind. I am my own kind of mom and I am growing and evolving. I am learning as I go along. And I want to be ‘my’ kind of mum.
This post didn’t make much sense. ok.
In 4 years of pre marriage June 15, 2009
Posted by preetischronicle in hubby, life's like that.3 comments
and a little less than 4 years of post marriage, I still haven’t found a way to get past his macbook, his i phone and the occasional tv. They stand and stay between us. phew!
work from home March 20, 2009
Posted by preetischronicle in at work, life's like that, random thoughts, this is me.4 comments
I choose to work from home today. It happens to be one of the perks of my new role. Besides the money, it’s the only other attractive thing. Oh yes! I also have a very inspiring lady for a boss. The ms. I-can-do-all-look good-have kids-manage them well sort of an efficient corporate honcho! Little V found out something unusual in the day today, so he is particularly clingy and crying easily for the smallest thing and demanding 100% attention. We have both been sitting in the living room since morning on the carpet, me hastily checking my emails on my pc and little V safely seated on 2 thick blankets (he sometimes falls backwards) with toys scattered all around us. The day went well, I got enough work done. I got to play with Little V for some extra time and fed him all his meals myself. Sneaked in some time to make a new dish for him. Spoke with two friends over the phone. Had fewer cups of tea and gulped lesser food than I do when I am stressed out at work.
So this thought came to my mind (i usually dilly dally on how comfortable this working mommy bit is, so don’t be surprised to hear from me totally tangent views at some other time). Aren’t working mums, living in a nuclear family, the most efficient bunch of people around? They never indulge in rotten office gossip. They do not want to spend extra time in office just to show off hard work. They don’t lick their boss’s feet. They are quick to respond to emails and answer phone calls at the first. Not only do they manage the office work, they are also running a household and managing baby meals, not being able to afford any showdowns in the week. They have their washing, cupboard cleaning, friends visits and weekends neatly planned out. They are ambitious but not running after that extra promotion, that additional raise, they won’t bend their standards to get there. But alas! they are also the most stressed out of the lot sometimes…me thinks.
my baby is 9 months March 16, 2009
Posted by preetischronicle in Little V, baby food, life's like that.7 comments
Dear Son,
Where did all the time fly and you are already 9 months today. The teeny weeny squiggly little bundle of joy we brought home. The one who changed our lives completely and so beautifully. Every morning there is a little mr chubby cheeks besides me to hug and to kiss and to cuddle. I am enjoying every bit of this mommyhood business…heck! what was I before you sonny!
This has clearly been your milestones quarter. You can roll around all over the bed leaving every thing turned and dragging along the bedsheet with you. The bed sheet was pretty attractive for you for its floral and geometric prints until you found out that there’s a mattress hidden underneath and if you try a little harder, its easy to drag yourself around with help from the bedsheet and at the same time exposing and enjoying the dull looking mattress. You can scream out a ‘i want it right now’ kind of cry to get the object of your desire – your favorites being - the barnyard carousel, the telephone landlineinstrument and paper. Coming to paper, this one thing holds your attention from as early as may be 4 months until now. The smallest piece to the newspaper, they are your calling. You wouldn’t trade them for anything. Though you simply tear them off mercilessly, I think its the sound an edition of ‘Mint’ can make while being torn, which is holding your attention. In that sense, you are their most trusted reader in this house. I am hoping the coming years(and that’s a long way to go, I know) will make me see you ‘reading’ it, until then I will pick up all the torn pieces lying everywhere in the room. You have taken to a lot of food that we eat and that – my son- goes a long way in keeping your mom happy. Matar aaloo, meethi aaloo, all kinds of dal, mishti doi, chawal, salads, fruits, icecreams, shakes, you are slowly getting the hang of food happening around the house. That is an essential part of your successful onboarding into the family, afterall the family that eats together, stays together!
Night time is your hyperactivity time. Just the voice of daddy will make you go head over heels. There will be unstoppable laughter around here. You want to hide from daddy and at the same time you are enticing him to come and get you! To which he will certainly oblige. He comes running to you and you both end up with loud chortle and I love this moment and wish the time would freeze somehow! During the course of the night you achieve a perfect 180 degrees move on the bed. If I happen to wake up at around 3am, I can see that you are halfway done with your 180 degree move and your feet are comfortably resting on your dad’s face while both of you are in dreamland. Now that’s another kodak moment for me! I have read somewhere once and a co blogger recommended too, that while leaving the baby once must say a firm happy bye-bye with an assurance that we will be back to pick you up! I have tried that. But you simply refuse to do a bye-bye to mommy. You just won’t. Once I leave you at the creche, you just take your eyes off me, like you can’t see me going or is it that you don’t want to see me going! Son, may be you are trying to make it easier for yourself, but this is getting tough on me. No wait, keep it that way, I secretly like the fact that you just wouldn’t say bye to me! When I am back to pick you up for home, you say your best byes to creche aunty, like you practiced the whole day, just for that 20 seconds bye to her. Besides acting on a simple cue like bye bye, you can also clap perfectly- you clap when asked and when you hear nice music and when you are happy(and you know, clap your hands!). (Is it because I recited this to you pretty often?! ) The clap took some days to learn, initially you were just moving your body in rhythm to ‘claaping-claaping’ that I blurted non stop and then finally the hands came together. So you now do the world’s most wonderful clap complete with rhythm and all. You can do a very pleasant namaste and I so love that! The coming together of your palms, fingers still figuring out how to exactly overlap, its so damn cute! You can bring forward your hand to do the hello, but occasionally. You can also point out to the fan now, though I am hoping that you haven’t mistaken it for the chandelier. When in trouble, you say mamamamamamama endlessly which makes me run and jump over every thing and every being to get to you, I so love that, keep that up. You also took on a fancy to constantly say papapapapapa for a few days, which is ok, but not for too long ..haan! You can also say, da-da, ba-ba, na-na, de-de, athae-athae and of course you don’t know what any of this means. But I think you may just know what de-de means( a firm ‘give me!’ ). You also sing aaa-aaa-aaa-aaa while moving your body in sync. You can pull the batteries out from the tata sky remote on your own. And this I think has driven you to look at all your toys from the bottom and look for the batteries compartment. You recently learned how to sleep on your sides too. I think you also now understand what ‘flower’ means, thanks to all the roses I kept showing you when I got them for your dad. And when I say the word ‘flower’ it seems to make you happy and you smile, you like them too! I will see to it that you see more fresh flowers in the house than all the plasticky ones.
When I come to get you from the creche, your hands just reach out for me and you hug me and kiss me and bite me. I just want to hold on to that. I can’t stop admiring this little person that you are, so soft from the outside and the inside and so pure. I experience the purest form of love and I would say the closest to something deeply spiritual when I am with you. Son, I treasure each and every moment of all this and I know there is so much more to come and so many feats you will mesmerize me with. You give a very significant purpose to my existence. I feel I am having the time of my life! traaa laaa laaa laa!
Love and blessings,
Mum
I’ve made a move.. February 12, 2009
Posted by preetischronicle in at work, life's like that, this is me.3 comments
…from my current role to a much lighter role in the same organisation. I had decided to keep away any work related stuff from this blog. However, besides being work related, this move brings a totally different dimension to my career. I will move to a different division in the same company. This new role will require lesser time at the workplace which simply translates to more time with Little V. And that’s what I have been craving for. I am a finance background person and we thrive on deadlines, month ends, quarter ends and year end financial data and reporting. This new role won’t have any such period end commitments and will offer (hopefully) one day in the week as work from home and a more morning (8ish to 4ish) kind of a day. At this moment this opportunity sounds so perfect, like everything after this will be just alright. This reminds me of a discussion I had with my director regarding the new role and how he wanted me to think it all over and I remember him saying – any move, any position (that needs less time) will need compromise at some level, more or less, it won’t match up for the time you could be at home full time. So they wanted me to figure out if I would be happier with something lighter or would rather give it all up. His words did ring a bell, but I am hoping fewer work hours in a week, will work perfectly for me.
I was so thrilled during the run up to fetching this position, it seemed like the be all and end all of everything. Now that I have got it, I am already missing my current role and all the glamour it used to bring with it. My current division is the most sought after division at my office. And it makes me wonder if this is indeed the right thing for me. Afterall, I am leaving a glossy position for a more laid back working life. I can’t help but feel melancholic about this role change. I liked my work and I liked the glamour my role brought me, no matter how bad it got during the quarter or month ends. But on the whole I think, it will benefit Little V, who can have more of me and I can have more of him and that anything is worth this extra time we are now going to have together. Now there is another letting go happening coz of the mommy bit of me. Being a mommy changes so many things about you…its never the same again! every day is a new day!
