She.. March 22, 2009
Posted by preetischronicle in this is me.trackback
She never held me in her arms, She never fed me.
She never thought of doing up my hair, And she had no desires for me.
She never answered when I called out for her. For school she never dressed me.
Nor did she pack my favorite lunch boxes. Never did she wait for me late evenings.
I had no sarees I could think of borrowing one day.
We had no girlfriend talks to share. I always wept when I was sad and wondered if she would care.
I had her eyes and her stare. But I thought how would it be if she was here.
She never guessed college romances that I wish I could share.
Career choices were never debated, I wonder how she rated the men I dated.
What would she pick for me for my wedding? Would she give me the kundan I eyed?
What would she say when she saw me as a bride?
Would she know of my pain, when I became her? Would she take pride in how I braved it?
He says, I do not know how women are, since I never had her.
Will she ever answer that?
I speculate whether she will relate, how I never knew(and never will) of what it is to have her.
Will she see the way I wept…
and that there are days I miss her bad.
To my Mum, whom I never had. Miss you.
very moving post, preeti
MIM : yes and a true one. We lost her when I was born.
Priyanka : That’s what, in spirit she always was, like someone whom I never knew and never met.
Gosh – a really touching post Preeti. My heart sank just reading this so I can only imagine how it was living with this reality all your life. Hugs….and lots of them!
aww..I have no words
Hi Preethi…
I have no words of consolation coz the loss you feel is beyond my imagination… I am sure she’s watching over you from above …and is so proud of you.
*Hugs*
I cannot even begin to imagine what it must have, what it must, feel like.
There is so much I want to say, and yet, all that sound so hollow with a reality that is with you everyday.
tight hug, preeti. big, big, tight hug.
Hugs.
a big tight hug for ya sweety… I know how hard it is to miss some one so close… take care dear.. don’t be sad… we’re with u
All : *hugs* Thank you so much. I find it hard to express these emotions to anyone, but here they just came out. Please dont think I am different just because I didnt have someone important in my life. Its this thought of being made to feel ‘different’ that made me sometimes hide this fact about myself when I used to make friends at sometime.